Humanity is triggered because of what we value. Our Values and stories about them form the foundation of our emotional experience. We feel strongly when what we value is met (satisfaction, love, or joy) or violated (rage, sorrow, or frustration).
Mentally, a trigger is a perception inspiring an emotional and cognitive assessment. Externally, triggers are any act or situation that provokes a perception. Importantly, what we perceive never holds the entirety of a situation. We only see what fits within our worldview.
From this, a trigger is as common as the air we breathe and the blood coursing through our veins. Unfortunately, because our minds evolved to be more wary of potential suffering rather than pursuing potential enjoyment, triggers get associated with what leads to heartache and uncertainty. A great deal of difficulty results because we do not separate our perception from the event itself, believing that what we see is all there is.
My Success Does Not Support Your Suffering
What we feel is based on judgments about the world and whether or not our needs are being met. We often try to avoid our humanity, our emotions, especially ones that we reject as negative such as anger, or vulnerability.
Nobody gets upset about something they lack concern about. Flipped on its head, we only get triggered over the perception of things we care about. Here is where strength can be found:
- Identify the core Value being violated (or supported).
- Reflect on why this Value is important to you.
- Assess whether what the other person has done takes away what you Value.
The easy answer to that last question is: it doesn’t.
It is our shared humanity being triggered that brings intense separation, it is the same humanity that can heal the rift and bring us together.
Readings from: https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/11/23/martha-nussbaum-upheavals-of-thought-neediness/